currently listening to: can't help falling in love with you by ingrid michaelson

so i guess we are who we are for a lot of reasons.
and maybe we'll never know most of them.
but even if we don't have the power to choose where we come from
we can still choose where we go from there.
we can still do things.
and we can try to feel okay about them.

i don't know if you've ever felt like that.
that you wanted to sleep for a thousand years.
or just not exist.
or just not be aware that you do exist.
or something like that.
i think wanting that is very morbid,
but i want it when i get like this.

that's why i'm trying not to think.
i just want it all to stop spinning.

please believe that things are good with me,
and even when they're not,
they will be soon enough.
and i will always believe the same about you.
i just don't want you to worry about me,
or think you've met me,
or waste your time anymore.

you say that you love the rain,

but you open your umbrella when it rains.

you say that you love the sun,

but you find a shadow spot when the sun shines.

you say that you love the wind,

but you close your windows when the wind blows.

this is why i am afraid, when you say that you love me too.